Day 17 and 18 of 21: Honoring Commitment

Fell off the blogging wagon for a day, but I promise you I was practicing yoga without fail. So here's two days worth of updates. I absolutely was Om-ing and trying to figure out what it meant to me as I wander through this week, and today, I came across this gem in A Year of Living Your Yoga

Whatever you do, do it with an open heart. Maybe you agreed to do something, but now you wish you hadn't. If you do choose to follow through in the end, do so with willingness and interest. You will suffer less and so will the others around you.

Each day I wake up a little begrudgingly knowing I made a commitment to post because I'm trying to create a habit of getting my ideas generator used to working more than sporadically. This in turn will help make my classes better, me happier, my life in general more fulfilling, and my family and friends may find me more pleasant to be around. 

So missing a day of posting means that I let myself down. Plus I forget any of the juicy ideas that did come up during the experience. They may not be noteworthy to anyone but me, but the ship has sailed once 24 hours have passed. Like having an amazing dream, and not telling anyone or writing it down, and by the next day it's just hazy memories like a partially erased tape or warped photo. 

Plus the past three-ish days I have been battling migraines and the medication has left me feeling like I have a swiss cheese personality, so recapturing any of the flashes of insight from yesterday are difficult.

I do remember that the book listed above offered the idea of meditating on thing (person or object or idea) that brings your happiness, and allowing that sensation to fill you. I thought it might be interesting to combine the mental image of this with an Om vocalization.  I like the idea of infusing the Om practice with another object of focus - like dedicating the practice to an object of love or happiness. I had chosen my son. However in hindsight I may have been overcomplicating the practice a bit at least as a beginning meditator. I will have to discuss this with my mentor and research a bit to see if chanting and imagery are advised. I didn't get any feedback from the class (yet) so we will see. 

The migraine effect continues today, and I was rummaging around my brain to find a way to keep people interested in the Om practice. I brought out the singing bowl thinking that we would use that to guide our Oms, but I forgot that I don't have a striker to elongate the sound, and my foggy head and voice were unable to match the note of the bowl so that my "singing" fell so flat it was comical. 

After a few anti-sonorous attempts I croaked out a few Oms but I didn't feel good about them. Directly afterwards I read the aphorism above and laughed quite literally out loud. I mean, I made my best attempt with sincerity, so hopefully no one suffered (more than already was). I meant well, my heart was in it, but my literal pain and drug affected brain could not cash the check!

This post is part apology, part confession, and all receipt reminder for future me when this happens again: keep the commitment, but you don't have to try so hard. I'm thinking don't scramble to "entertain" just stick with what you know. A simple Om practice would have been very grounding me for me, would have worked just as well for the class, and fulfilled the obligation 100% (and I'd feel far less guilty). 

Note to self: I really have to find a bowl striker.

Day 1 of 21: Without discipline, there is no art

From A Year of Living Your Yoga by Judith Hansen Lasater, PH.D., P.T., this is the daily practice for January 26. 

Living Your Yoga: The art of yoga comes from the consistency of discipline. Today resolve to practice for the next twenty-one days without missing a single one. Note it on your calendar. 

I read this to class today, and after wrestling with what it means, and whether or not it's important to take it at face value, 

I joked with the class today that as soon as I saw that words "discipline" and "without missing a single one" part of me immediately railed against the idea, defensively citing it as "too strict," "unrealistic," and "authoritarian." I had to take two steps back to remember the book we use as a guide to daily yogic ideas was written to plants seeds, not smash them. My reaction spoke more of my personal and controversial relationship with structured time and temporal commitments (insert my mother laughing here) than anything the author could have intended.

So because the idea of the challenge struck a nerve, it made it all the more important for me to accept it.

Today was day 1. I practiced with two classes. Tomorrow, I will teach another Zoom class as well as be a student in a two-hour Yoga for Mental Health training. Thursday I will teach two classes, Friday two as well, then Saturday if all goes according to plan I will log on to be a student in a rather active mat yoga class. Sunday is the day I must make the concerted effort to carve out some allotted yoga time, some mindful activity. It's been our family habit to take a walk, a hike, of some sort, and we usually conduct some philosophical discussion along our route (11 year old Eli included). 

The two weeks following will be similar. So I think I'll be able to do 21 days without too much difficulty. 

To keep myself honest, however I "practice," I also am committing to validating that experience on this blog - a public journaling of the journey. Often I have difficulty coming up with fresh content, so perhaps this experiment might help. At the very least, I'm finding discipline in my practice, and maybe inspiring someone else as well. 

Not sure if we'll be able to call the blog art, but the yoga, definitely. 

Update: I want to thank Christina Alexander for sending me this: https://www.capespace.com/how-the-21-90-rule-helps-you-build-good-habits-and-a-better-life/

Trying New Things

Today is the day, that maybe, you change your life. Not drastically, but subtley. Mindfully. Gently. Authentically. Not by taking a yoga asana class, not by doing a power workout but by simply thinking about what (simple) things you need to create a sense of physical and emotional well being, clear cognitive function, spirituality, and ability to express your self creatively. SIMPLE THINGS. Like, providing your body with nutrition. Like, breathing. Like, reading something that inspires you. Like, connecting with a friend. Like maybe, ok, doing some asana, but more simply, how about just standing still, tall, aligned, grounded and connected, breathing in prana and exhaling to relax? 

Make a list of all the things you value in life. Short or long list, no matter. Now, make a list of things you can do to SUPPORT those things (support the vitality, well being, spirituality, creative expression). And now, make a list of things (you may or may not do) that disrupt vitality, well being, spirituality, creative expression.

Can you, will you, commit to doing ONE of the supportive things, for some specific period of time, and be accountable for it? Make it doable, make it non-self-effacing (for example, committing to reading 2 hours every day would never work for my schedule and I'd only be upset with myself for not reaching my goal... so make it accessible but appropriately challenging). 

Now, call a friend. Or post it on your blog, Or tell your yoga teacher, or post it on facebook. MAKE YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE, not to open yourself up for disappointment (remember, these are reachable goals, doable exercises that create a better sense of self for you, try to not set yourself up to fail) but to make sure you have some reinforcement!

Here, I'll share mine.

1) Meditate for 5 minutes a day, every day of the week. Morning or night doesn't matter. But just sit, breathe and deepen. 

Every time I take the time to do this, no joke, I feel like a weight lifts off my physical and psycological being. The transitions easier, I have more patience, I feel more grounded and yet more open hearted and spiritual. The transformation is obvious to my family, and so why would I not embrace this.

2) Eat a good, healthy, nutritious, non-rushed breakfast at least 5 of the next 7 days.

If I slip into poor eating habits and skip breakfast, or eat something too filled with carbs, my entire day body/mind balance is thrown off - blood sugar drops, craving for short term energy foods, foggy thinking, mid afternoon exhaustion, general impatience... nothing that makes me feel good about being. SO, breakfast it is.

3) Spend at least 10 unadulterated minutes with my son playing. That doesn't sound like much, but I mean, 10 minutes of focused time on something (reading, building train tracks) where neither of us is not trying to multitask, read email, watch tv, post on facebook, watch a video, do laundry, clean, etc. FOCUSED loving attention with eye contact, genuine love and vested involvement.

Ok, you have my list. Feel free to post yours. We can check in :)