In a rare occurrence of lucidity, dream-me thought "shit, why am I whinging at the dream-person that is frustrating me? why am i being the opposite of who I want to be?" I woke up sad, but aware of the rarity of that "aha" moment.
To that end, in a particularly challenging yoga class today I was actually brought to tears; not big sobbing ones, but hot weepy ones that come on stronger when you hold your breath. I was carrying the frustration of the dream and personal conflict, plus a sympathetic nervous system response (adrenalin surge and anxiety spur) to a particular difficult asana. I needed to STOP making my blissful practice the opposite of what I wanted it to be.I needed to be lucid about what I was experiencing and not victimized by it. So I sat my sweaty ass down, took a deep breath to loosen my throat lock that was just holding in all that negativity. I wanted this practice to be joyful, and I had to choose to make it that way. I wiped away my tears, breathed into my hips (a bit of a tensions reliever) and carried on with content dharana (concentration) instead of frustration based in unrealistic expectations.
As far as the dream was concerned, like always, a few hours away from the waking moment and the conjured emotions dissipated (but the lesson was well remembered). As for the personal conflict, I resolved that the issues were really, truly, external to me, and only *I* had the power to prevent myself from emotional collateral damage. I realized that I could lower my expectations (of myself, of the universe) as over those things I have no control, but that doesn't mean I should lower my standards for the kind of person I want to be(come).
Sometimes recognizing the futility of the fight is just what we need to create more space for the possibility.
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Yoga with Provisions - a special event!
I am very excited to invite you (all?) to my newest social yoga venture called Yoga with Provisions. The hour long yoga class will be hosted by the San Diego Creative Arts Project, a 501c3 organization providing theater/voice/fitness/dance lesson for kids and adults, with cooperation from Polite Provisions/Soda and Swine restaurants. Tickets are just $15 and include the yoga class plus special discount at the restaurants directly following the class.
Email me to reserve your spot (spaces are limited) or with any questions. The yoga will be an eclectic blend of hatha and vinyasa styles, with props provided to assist, as well as a very groovy soundtrack and extra soothing savasana at the end.
Link, share, like, tweet!
Email me to reserve your spot (spaces are limited) or with any questions. The yoga will be an eclectic blend of hatha and vinyasa styles, with props provided to assist, as well as a very groovy soundtrack and extra soothing savasana at the end.
Link, share, like, tweet!
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